Slip-and-slide Fan T-Shirts

"My fault! My fault! Too much oil."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Repurposing the aqueducts of Ancient Rome.

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Sunbathing in Autumn

If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#^* arm.

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

Guy on stilts watching a balloon dog lift its leg on his stilts. Balloon animal maker watching on.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

Clown Inhaling Laughing Gas

We got the adult version. Sip 'N Slide.

"And to think I always thought you walked with an ominous elegance like Henry Fonda."

Biting Slippers.

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

Indian summer.

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."

The clowns are coming!

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

"Previously on..."

Someday, the worm will turn.

Captain Whiteboard. "Darn! I just rubbed the 'X' off."

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Window Cleaner asks for help.

The Moe Howard Installation