Perm Appreciator Gifts

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

A Venus cow trap.

Tortured Plank

Paving over the window-box

Inventor of Morse Code

Librarian.

"These are my true colors and I don't care who know it!"

A graffiti artist is spray painting a graffiti artist, who appears to be spraying the next graffiti artist in an optical illusion.

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

'Oh boy, the pollen count is going up.'

'Do you think he knows we're carrying beef sandwiches?'

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

'It's so beautiful, yet fragile. Safe, yet vulnerable. More precious than any star in the heavens.'

A Cow watching a horror movie.

Botanical violinist

'Granted, it's classified as a weed around here, but you have to agree its pollen is delicious...'

'How about a drink?' - 'You've got gravy.'

'I hate it when she gets perms'

'Bloody showoff!'

Exploding Dalmatian

'Fresh plumsprunes.'

Colourful Birds

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"

"That dead thing in the corner looks good."

Aptitude tests point to a job in the wine industry for a young man with huge feet.

"Why did you tell them we are vegetarians?

"It's not a new indoor dog-toilet you dummy: It's a bonsai tree..."

God Shows His Love In Many Ways...

Blooming Idiot

"This idea of offering staff flexible working options is genius, we should have done it years ago!"

Cow orders milkshakes which come straight from a cow's udder.

"Well this is very nice! Our own private pool."