Perm Appreciator Gifts

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your ... did you get a perm?"

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

A Venus cow trap.

Tortured Plank

Paving over the window-box

Inventor of Morse Code

Librarian.

"These are my true colors and I don't care who know it!"

A graffiti artist is spray painting a graffiti artist, who appears to be spraying the next graffiti artist in an optical illusion.

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

'Oh boy, the pollen count is going up.'

'Do you think he knows we're carrying beef sandwiches?'

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

'It's so beautiful, yet fragile. Safe, yet vulnerable. More precious than any star in the heavens.'

A Cow watching a horror movie.

Botanical violinist

'Granted, it's classified as a weed around here, but you have to agree its pollen is delicious...'

'Fresh plumsprunes.'

'Bloody showoff!'

'I hate it when she gets perms'

Exploding Dalmatian

'How about a drink?' - 'You've got gravy.'

Colourful Birds

Petition to ban petitions from outside this market.

"That dead thing in the corner looks good."

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"

Aptitude tests point to a job in the wine industry for a young man with huge feet.

Pssst … You guys want some milkweed? … Cow Peer Pressure.

God Shows His Love In Many Ways...

"It's not a new indoor dog-toilet you dummy: It's a bonsai tree..."

"This idea of offering staff flexible working options is genius, we should have done it years ago!"

Blooming Idiot

"Why did you tell them we are vegetarians?

Cow orders milkshakes which come straight from a cow's udder.