Perk Pro Gifts

"Working here includes some pretty sweet perks."

'These are job perks.'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

Perks

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

Charity Shop Income on Rise

'I warned you not to ask for a shorter work week.'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.

Our dental plan consists of a toothbrush and toothpaste.

'...plus, an annual molting leave!'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

'Never forget that the best things in life are freebies.'

CEO Incentives

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."

'I know I just started working here, but is there any way I could get a company car, a membership to a country club and use of the corporate jet? This would greatly enhance my performance in the mail room.'

May I have your frequent flier points and corporate parking space, sir?

Employee Benefits

"The americans have been sniffing around again looking to poach some rainmakers...."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

'Why, there isn't even a company folder for 'Perks'!'

'The firm provides every new executive with a personal trainer.'

'We can't offer you the satisfaction of a gratifying career, but how does a paid week off and dental sound?'

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

What about the company car you promised?

'...and that concludes the emergency procedures. Since we have a few minutes before take-off, how many of you are familiar with 'Amway'?'

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"