Perk Lover Gifts

'We can't offer you the satisfaction of a gratifying career, but how does a paid week off and dental sound?'

Where Indian ink came from.

'These are job perks.'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"Habanero ..."

Perks

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

"Nice work, son. You missed the car but you nailed his bald spot."

Cheeky boy and putting 'leeks' sign on toilet.

"Happy birthday!"

Clown Watercooler

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

Newest items from the cooler image

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

Our dental plan consists of a toothbrush and toothpaste.

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

Builder's Crack T-shirt

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"My trun!!"

"I told you not to make fun of primitive life-forms! Now these idiots are killing each other in your name!"

"Ok kids. . . dig me out please! You've had your little joke. . . c'mon -daddy's NOT angry with you. . . Please dig me out!!!"

CEO Incentives

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

"If you like what I had to say, be sure to go online and buy some of my merch."

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

'Never forget that the best things in life are freebies.'

'I know I just started working here, but is there any way I could get a company car, a membership to a country club and use of the corporate jet? This would greatly enhance my performance in the mail room.'

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."