Periodic Table Puzzler Pillows

Don't be surprized, I'm combining Oxygen and Magnesium. OMg!

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

Pastorius wonders why.

Table Of The Elephants

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"That's the problem today. Everyone expects the same old standardized answers."

'In, out, fiddling.'

'No, 4 plus 4 isn't 7 Central Time.'

'Sorry, but I had trouble with train story-problems in math, when I was a kid too.'

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

I use spell check for all the answers on my math story problems.

"Get your ass back on the road, Pythagoras!"

"If I forget something I learned before and then remember it again, will it count as something I learned today?"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

What the numbers are telling us

Cereal for Accountants

Calculator Jokes

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

Doing Math in the 2020s

Psychiatrist catches patient's hallucination.

"Now where did I park my car?"

"Are we done celebrating Pi Day yet?" "Not until I've completed the 'reading of the digits.'"

'No, 'suprise' isn't on the Periodic Table of Elements.'

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

'This is an absolutely honest, above the board tax return. What in hell are you up to!'

'You can't be a mathematician and have a sense of humor.' - 'You can't be a mathematician and not have a sense of humor.'