Periodic Table Puzzler Prints

Don't be surprized, I'm combining Oxygen and Magnesium. OMg!

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

Pastorius wonders why.

Table Of The Elephants

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"That's the problem today. Everyone expects the same old standardized answers."

'In, out, fiddling.'

'Sorry, but I had trouble with train story-problems in math, when I was a kid too.'

'No, 4 plus 4 isn't 7 Central Time.'

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

"Have you noticed that there's a preponderance of particularly dense cloud around this morning?"

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

I use spell check for all the answers on my math story problems.

Museum of Science. Periodic Table of Elements. Curie. Einstein. "Curium" is named after the Curies and "Einsteinium" is named after Albert Einstein --- Maybe they'll name an element after me one day! They can call it "delirium"!

"Get your ass back on the road, Pythagoras!"

Psychiatrist catches patient's hallucination.

"If I forget something I learned before and then remember it again, will it count as something I learned today?"

What the numbers are telling us

Cereal for Accountants

Calculator Jokes

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

Doing Math in the 2020s

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Now where did I park my car?"

'This chart indicates that the big hand is on the 12, and the small hand is on the 5. Who knows what this means?'

Scary story time at math camp.

'No, 'suprise' isn't on the Periodic Table of Elements.'

'This is an absolutely honest, above the board tax return. What in hell are you up to!'

'I knew insects wouldn't take over the world...numbers will!'

"Are we done celebrating Pi Day yet?" "Not until I've completed the 'reading of the digits.'"