Perfumery Gifts

"This should get his attention. It's called, 'Squirrel.'"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"I dread to think what would happen if it fell into the hands of an unscrupulous person."

'Here's one that will drive your husband nuts! Ninety eight bucks a bottle.'

'It's hunting season again. Got anything that smells like fresh venison?'

'And old hags shouldn't be working in the beauty department.'

At the animal perfume fair.

"Actually - he's rather your 'Me, Jane ' sort of boy!"

"I've invented a cologne that makes cow smell like humans, so mosquitoes are attracted to cows."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Men's fragrances...

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"The antidote is $150."

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

Pheromones.

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'