Perfume Making Gifts

Scientists discovered an immense hole in Siberia. Nobody knows what caused it. Some think global warming melted a huge, gas-filled hill made of ice so fast that is exploded. Let's let them go on thinking that, little buddy. House of Java.net Cybercafe. By the way, if you ever go out to the middle of nowhere to brew your own black market cologne, make sure you don't brew it on a hill made of ice. That does not constitute an admission of anything.

"I've just invented the first thought controlled perfume. It makes scents when you think about it."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Men's fragrances...

Some scents are nonsense.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Aromatherapy for Men

"The antidote is $150."

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

The day wasps discovered there's something about an Aqua Velva Man.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

Jane Krakowski

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'