Perfume Critic T-Shirts

"Sometimes, our strong sense of smell is a curse: Not only is Mistress wearing too much perfume, it's cheap perfume too!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Don Quixote

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Some scents are nonsense.

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Quick swig first?"

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

Wine tasting

Red Wine

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

Jane Krakowski