Performance Reviews Gifts

'I think he needs to work a little more on giving feedback.'

Performance Management: "Jump!"

What we gained on the swings we lost on the roundabouts.

"Just as I thought!...Trying to look busy by shredding plain paper!"

"I admit you're a team player, but you're still a bench warmer."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Just be yourself."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Snowprov

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Primitive magician

'He's maturing early.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

Orchestra conductor

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

Targets.

Business Target

'It appears you've done a wonderful job...of not getting fired.'

"A great quarter always puts the old man in a jocular mood."

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'