Performance Review Warrior Gifts

'How did the review go?'

Employee evaluation.

"Yes, you do go the extra mile for this company. But you've been going in the wrong direction."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Just be yourself."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Snowprov

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

Exam

'I really crammed last night.'

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

'He's maturing early.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Primitive magician

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Good luck with all the revision...

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'