Performance Enhancer Skeptic Gifts

"Are you sure this sport is now drug free?"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

I.T. Fear

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Ego Increasing School

Privacy

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

'Too much Omega 3.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

Diner is served

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'