Performance Enhancer Critic Gifts

'I'm afraid we're going to ask you to take a urine test, David'

"Just be yourself."

Theatre Crowd

"Bravo!"

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Performance reviews in Hell.

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

Oligarchy

"'Article I. Section 9. Claus B. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States' - we gotta change that."

'There are two men and a dog out there, and the dog is asleep.'

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

Welcome to the wonderful world of abstract mime.

Trilby - 'Petits bonheurs de contrebande'.

'I'll give you this, Henderson - you're no worse than anyone else.'

'What's your usual response to criticism?' - 'Extreme surprise.'

Hugo Chavez - A peace loving man.

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

Trapeze Artists

"Music has doubled my income..."

Al, trust me� You're ready for tomorrow's comic strip. I really want to nail my performance, Axel. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter�"

Performance Management: "Jump!"

Tightrope Walker.

"Why Bingo Sinclair is the world's greatest clown director"

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

"How long has it been, Fenwick, since you weaseled your way into this corporation?"

Crossing the thin line into show business

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

'Well done Flipper, you seem to be balancing your workload well.'

"I've seen it performed many times, but I can't remember ever sleeping through it so peacefully."

"On the one hand your flexibility is good for the company. On the other hand the chiropractors' bills are not."