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Circus elephant.

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

Mr Astley's Theatre

'A couple from the circus just moved into the flat next door!'

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

Rock and roll singer with old mike and three backing singers.

James Levine

'We come as a pair - we're applying for headship and assistant post.'

'It's sad to see a man of the right caliber backfire.'

WHEREVER THERE IS REAL DANGER THE ATOMIC MIME LEAPS INTO PRETEND ACTION

People chasing a street performer to give money.

Spinning violinist

"That's Julian you can hear, he's really arty-farty this evening"

Strippers Dressing Room

"Those who can can, dance."

Teacher turns on Applause Sign

I Pagliacci

"I put in a full day with the big cats, Kasmer. I need a sympathetic human cannonball I can come home to."

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

Dame Sybil Thorndike

'Pop the whip. Make me roll over. Smile more. The act started going downhill when I began listening to you.'

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

Outsourcing

Loreen-Euphoria-ESC in Baku

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

"You can't just give a regular lecture. You have to use pyrotechnics."

1,572 Performances.

Roadie

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Senta jumps into the sea

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"