Perfect Product Hunter Pillows

"I'm looking for something slightly more perfect."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

Online Shopping.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Unusual Offers

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

Giant Sale!

"I got it in the sales."

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

Business Fishing.

The Anti-flat shampoo worked.

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

Legal Firm, Suits, 30% Off.

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"Multi-level marketing!"