Perfect Appearance Seeker T-Shirts

'Perfect.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I don't like your application."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'I'll take it!'

Elegant woman in backless dress.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Changing Room Decisions

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

Books / Coffee table books

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '