Appearance Perfectionist T-Shirts

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'Oh, come on. . . you can't tell me Dasher hasn't had antler enhancement surgery!'

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Before you have your job interview I'll touch up your roots.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

How to engage an audience

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."

"You additional graphics are totally unnecessary, Phelps."

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'