Pensioner Of The Year Gifts

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"But Tim has tremendous faith in modern technology...he's looking for an 'Foolproof pension investment strategy in uncertain markets and a potentially imploding Eurozone' app!"

"Look, Honey! No teeth!"

New game - Aches and Bladders (Suitable for 70+).

"The pensions industry needs to dramatically improve the way we communicate with customers."

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

"The technical aspects of the 'dashboard' are mainly resolved. Now we just have to sort out the peripheral services."

"Department of infernal affairs. How may I misdirect your employee pension plan?"

Post office - Even Pension Day was the same. Dorian, was always asked to produce his birth certificate.

'Second childhood menu, please!'

"Brexit could lead to ARMAGEDDON for the pensions industry..."

Man trying to grab a pension from a crane slot machine

"Plan B was to supplement my retirement income as a party clown, and that brings me to my loan application."

Chasing Pensions

Comedy / Tragedy / My 401(K)

'Looks like the trust my money is in isn't blind, but it is short sighted.'

TV: 'It's 10 pm- do you know where your social security funding is tonight?'

Take Your Social Security Early.

"Oh no! It's another lecture on his pension contributions!"

"Martha, throw away the Pooper Scooper!"

"I think a cap on management fees is inevitable sooner or later..."

Providers struggle to come to terms with longevity issues...

"According to this article over 60% of people have never consulted a pensions adviser..."

"I built it for my Grandad. To help top up his measly pension over the Christmas period."