Pension Plan Skeptic Pillows

"Would you believe it, that pensions liberation plan was just an on-line scam..."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

I'm sorry, but I have to let you go, Harpic- the office is going open-plan.

'I see the truth-in-advertising-people got wind of the proposed privatising...'

"A 12 month tour of the USA costs us less than staying at home for a year."

Department of Work and No Pension

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

'...I expected a little more than... a sticky toffee with fluff on it.'

'What - you don't want to marry me after you became rich and famous? Oh, great! Now I've got to think about a new pension plan!'

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

RIP Retirement In Peace

"The new government is determined to act decisively on the 'pensions crisis'."

"And, as a new employee, you are immediately entitled to participate in the company's proactive health plan."

Office of Social Insecurity.

"The government is committed to reducing its interference in the pension industry..."

'Old-age poverty is a myth!'

'While you're wearing that smug ‘we don't have kids' look, who's paying into social security?'

'Our retirement plan is to transfer you to our burger joint division, to suppliment your secial security.'

"Dad, I took the money out of my college fund, but I decided not to go to college."

'Some health plan, huh?'

"They want to push back the age at which we'll be denied social security benefits."

"It's a real pleasure to do business with you..."

'I've outlived my funds for old age.'

"People whine on about NEST being to expensive for businesses with less than ten employees...but it's all nonsense! There won't be any businesses with less than ten staff!"

"He's retired, which means too much husband and not enough money."

'I'm afraid it's not gold-plated after all.'

'I'll have to borrow a little but more of your inheritance.'

Bomers and Bummer

'When I retire I hope for a soft landing.'

'After income tax, pension and national insurance, I end up owing

Boomers and Bummer