Pension Pessimist Pillows

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Worry tank

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

Tom's last day.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

"Die alone"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

The Dungeon

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

'...I expected a little more than... a sticky toffee with fluff on it.'

'Turned out nice again.'

This will be a banner day for you!

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

"Would you believe it, that pensions liberation plan was just an on-line scam..."

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

The world can fry like a chip and end tomorrow as far as I'm concerned! I've made sure all my money is safe.

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

'Hardly worth blowing down.'

Half Full/Half Empty