Pessimistic Investor Pillows

A New Doom and Gloom Will Open Here.

Stock market investment advice

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Die alone"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.

Gonna Suck

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

Must you always be so negative?

'Your glass is half full!'

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'