Pension Plan Appreciator Gifts

'If it wasn't for their great pension scheme I'd have packed this in years ago.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"I like to stay on top of things."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Tortured Plank

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

Mathematician on the couch.

Department of Work and No Pension

'One day I just decided, screw it - I'm as rich as hell and I'm not going to fake it anymore.'

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

'Wow, I hate to be disturbed when I'm enjoying a good brew, too.'

"Recently, Ludwig Mizzledorp came up with some startling discoveries in particle physics. I'd like to sing for you some of his equations."

"Your tech gadgets will become obsolete, but the nice thing about money is it never goes out of style."

"Regarding my art collection, I know what I like."

New game - Aches and Bladders (Suitable for 70+).

Deep pockets on line two.

'I liked being a millionaire before everyone became one.'

'NO, you cannot borrow Grandpa's bus pass!'

'That's not cologne. I was just rolling around in our huge cash reserves.'

Dad, can you give me my pocket money?"

"Honey, I'm home."

A parcel of postmen

A butler holds down a tennis net so his master can more easily jump over it to shake the hand of his opponent.

'It's for Pookie.'

"The new government is determined to act decisively on the 'pensions crisis'."

"I understand you're some fancy pants lawyer."

"It's a little present I gave myself for being so rich."

'It's nice now, but the trade surplus can't last FOREVER!'

"Before you answer my proposal my Dear, let me just show you the balance of my off shore account..."

'I had a house for that price, but it sold in 1962.'