Penning Poet Gifts

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'Cartoonist thinking'

'Hard to follow...'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

Mystery of the Poets

Accountant Manqué

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

"Why are we here?"

"Norman is an island."

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

'Ignore that, my pen leaked...'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, all we ask for Mr. Whitman is poetic justice."

Anyway I thought I'd have a go at this writing lark on the first publisher I showed my scribbles gave me a five book deal.

Valentines for Things

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

'Well, YOU call it bad penmanship, I call it encryption.'

'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'

John Milton

"Dear Grandma, thank you so much for my birthday gift! My very first fountain pen!"

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

Veterans of Cursive Writing

Acme Pen Co -"If they don't work, just toss 'em in the bin"

Soup factory: Permanently closed: gone into adminestrone

'I've got my handwriting back from the graphologist - she says I'm shoddy, untidy, and cack-handed - it's uncanny!'

Ask not from whom the bum begs. He begs from thee. ?

"Nobody's going to take you seriously unless you stop drawing those little hearts over your i's."

"I couldn’t get a date on the outside and now I’m swamped with marriage proposals!"

"Why didn't the gnome join the school football team?"

Poetic Justice

"Solitude is more fun in groups."