Pencil Sharpener Collector T-Shirts

The Chrysler Buildinger

"The Brexit windfall didn't QUITE cover the cost of the promised massive investment in social care, but we did scrape together enough for a new pencil sharpener!"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Bribes for Jabs

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Bingo night.

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"My dad says this pencil was once used by William Shakespeare." "Is it 2B or not 2B?"

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"It has come to my attention that yous needs some protection."

Biro Security

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

The Secret Life of Pens

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

Bullets Bulls in the form of Bullets

"I'm not buying it."

'I'm sure you'll find having a crossword will help your marriage.'

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'It's working! He's coming closer! Make the sound again!'

Mean Sheriff.

An H pencil landing on top of an art gallery.

Hubert Nicholson.

A beautiful Wedge-Tailed eagle circling high above.

Swiss excalibur...