Pencil Paladin Gifts

'I'm going to use it to write letters to keep our health benefits, son...we veterans have a new battle when we get back.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Soldier armed with a pen.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"My dad says this pencil was once used by William Shakespeare." "Is it 2B or not 2B?"

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

Accountant Manqué

A great new year (for cartoonists).

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"I'm not buying it."

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'I'm sure you'll find having a crossword will help your marriage.'

Cow cartooning block.

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

A lumberjack leans against a giant pencil that reads "Giant Sequoia Brand No .2".

An H pencil landing on top of an art gallery.

Samurai - Accountant.

'Krista, please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.'

Funky Facts:Schools.

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

Small Business Loan of Pencils

"Whatever happened to freedom of the press?"

Self-Portrait

Droplet with a pencil.