Penalty Spot Warrior Pillows

"Your reputation for taking penalties doesn't scare me... Ready when you are."

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

Football - How's my Diving?

Giovanni C., Penalty Killer

Crime and punishment - football.

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

New York City Rodeo

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"This parking space ain’t big enough for the two of us."

Validate your parking?

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

'I had a wonderful evening and I'm really sorry Ed's still looking for a parking spot.'

1981 - Introduction of goal nets and penalty kicks to the newly-formed Football League.

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

'In 1959 it was, took his only penalty - missed.'

Online chat

Reserved for Handicapped Parking and arrogant SOBs who don't think that the rules apply to them because they are just soooooooo special!

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

Football referee who dropped all his cards.

"Getting my daily news fix."

Car runs off the road into the woods. A no parking zone.

'Death penalty'