Pen Wizard Pillows

Instructional guide to scribbling

CIA, 'I'm suspended for three months? Great! -- it'll give me time to work on my book!'

'Just time to dash out a short masterpiece...'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

"My preferred pronoun is they."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

D.I.Y

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

Freedom of the press

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

Book publishing.

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

Je Suis Charlie

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

A great new year (for cartoonists).

Great Poets of Catalogdom

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"This next song I just wrote, and it's called 'I Hate Fountain Pens.'"

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

"He spends hours waiting for his muse to strike..."

"Many editors take it improve their colons and semicolons."