Pen Wielding Wizard Pillows

'Best Seller'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"My preferred pronoun is they."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

Freedom of the press

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Book publishing.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

A great new year (for cartoonists).

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Great Poets of Catalogdom

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Dog Walker

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

"He spends hours waiting for his muse to strike..."

Man with Sword in Penholder

Death Watch

'Ye gods, Will - art thou still monkeying about with that Ooh-ooh language?'

The sword is mightier than the pen.

Forrest Gander

Cow cartooning block.

A writer goes sailing.

"Many editors take it improve their colons and semicolons."

Author discusses her next sensation novel

Pen mightier than sword.

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

'It's always the same design. I wish he'd get a more imaginative set of house plans.'

'I wrote my own speech once. It didn't sound like me at all!'

"The Ten Commandments Do-It-Yourself Kit"