Peerage Enthusiast Gifts

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Midlife: You Are Here.

The end of innocence

The Inner Dog.

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

The New Age Dentist.

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

New Age Pit Bull

Truth In Education

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

"That's just the meds kicking in."

'V. K. Duvine and Prodigal Son (if he comes back)

'You can try, but once they're past forty, you can't teach them new tricks.'

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"