Peerage Enthusiast Gifts

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Midlife: You Are Here.

The Inner Dog.

The end of innocence

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

The New Age Dentist.

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

New Age Pit Bull

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

'V. K. Duvine and Prodigal Son (if he comes back)

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

'You can try, but once they're past forty, you can't teach them new tricks.'

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."