Pedigree Aficionado Gifts

Proud Parents of 'Best in Breed' City Kennel Club.

"Sign my yearbook?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'I think they're up to something.'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

'One of my forebears.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

"Welcome to your new home Sire. There isn't an enemy in the land that will penetrate these three foot thick stone walls."

Monk Graffiti

'Great invention, Rex! What are you going to call it?'

The Trouble With Autonomous Vehicles

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

'... And I've been meaning to talk to you, about what I found floating in the moat this morning!'

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

Most dog-like dog.

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

'Him?.. Oh, he's the guy who discovered fire.'

"Frankly, it's no better or worse than any other form of government."

"I never said the peasants smelled bad. I was trying to warn you they were revolting."

Knight walking his dog.

"Someday man will find a peaceful use for my machines."

The Dungeon

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

Who's your daddy?, INC. It