Pee-wee League Supporter Gifts

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

Sermon Applause.

"Here comes the super-visor."

"Quick conference...this is rhubarb pie...do we like it or not?"

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

"Vote the Raven: 'Never Trump!'"

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

"Thank God I'm nowhere near bodily fluids!"

"It's not that we consider ourselves holier than others just because we choose to sit in the front row."

"I kind of miss the pendulum."

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

"Don't try to tell me this P.E. class! Get back to your homeschooling!"

'It's made out of solid wood and it sleeps eight.'

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

I am what I am. Ain't no politician, political party, nor other group gonna change my plan. Your business is yours and mine is mine...don't make me break open a spinach can!"

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

One cappuccino please, and I wanted to give you this. A note. How formal. Dear small local independent coffee house ... I went to Starbucks this morning. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me? What if I agree to purge what I ate? The written apology is sufficient.

'Sorry, you're not sadistic enough to be a P.E. teacher!'

Small store loses out to glossy big store

'I can't wait to be shorn of all this wooly symbolism.'

Tuesday Never Comes

PEZ designs that bombed.

'Evermore.'

Tortoise eats spinach in order to compete with hare.

"You know, you could have just said that you wanted that last piece of pie, dear!"

"What happened to you?" "I've been eating blackberry pie!"

The Budgie

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Switzerland

"So who are we playing today? The Giants?"

Church League - Thou Shalt Not Steal

"Popeye's latest was a big improvement on that skinny ugly dame..."