Pearly Gates Pun Collector Pillows

'Even if you were always Mother's little angel, I still have to look it up.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"Beanirrito"

Tequila Mockingbird

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I call it a flat.'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

'It's a snow mobile.'

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

Bell Hop

Toast kidnapper.

Prawn Shop

"Why have you come over here?"

"Cat nip"

Spiv

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

"I must be getting old . . . I crossed over here, but now I can't remember why!"

Air Transylvania's Red Eye Flight.

"Was she a roaming Catholic?"

Underrated tweet

Custer's Last Rollo

'That's not funny, Fred.'

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

"I'm afraid you have only three minutes to live."

'Sir, how long did it take you to learn to drive?'

Party Animal, Party Vegetable, Party Mineral

"Sheesh Kebab"