Pearly Gates Pun Collector Mugs

'Even if you were always Mother's little angel, I still have to look it up.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"Beanirrito"

Tequila Mockingbird

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I call it a flat.'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'It's a snow mobile.'

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

Bell Hop

Toast kidnapper.

Prawn Shop

"Why have you come over here?"

Custer's Last Rollo

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

"I must be getting old . . . I crossed over here, but now I can't remember why!"

Air Transylvania's Red Eye Flight.

Underrated tweet

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

'That's not funny, Fred.'

Spiv

"Was she a roaming Catholic?"

"It seems to me you may be experiencing some form of low-level depression."

"Cat nip"

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

"I'm afraid you have only three minutes to live."

'Sir, how long did it take you to learn to drive?'

Party Animal, Party Vegetable, Party Mineral