Peanut Ponderer Gifts

"It's not you – it's my anaphylaxis."

"Are there any peanuts in this?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

"I wonder if he's talking to me?"

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

"He never outgrew his love of milk and cookies. He just added beer and peanuts."

This could be interesting...

Square root of chicken is egg.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'Happy Xmas!'

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."

"Which one of us is me?"

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

"I'm thinking about freezing my eggs."