Peacekeepers On A Break Gifts

'Fighting broke out today between rival U. N. peacekeeping factions....'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Home Sweet Home

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

UNFADED GLORY

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

Human rights

"The session isn't quite going to plan."

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

"Perhaps we got off on the wrong paw."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Whiskey wars

Earth and war

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

'Here, William, take this - the G8 has chosen you to nip over for a one-to-one with Assad...'

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

"Tell me, how long have you been having these feelings of inadequacy?"

Warring parents

A neutral observer.

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'