Pea Perfectionist Gifts

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Husband bakes a pie

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Pea

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Back up ladies.. False alarm! It's not a grass planet..It's mushy peas!'

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"It's called being preemptive."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'You and I are going to have a long talk when I get you home.'

If you want to spend more time with your family, fill out a job application like the rest of us!'

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"Page 33, line 4..."

Secateurs/Non-Secateurs.

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'You always go that extra mile, don't you Molly.'

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

Dutch Apple Core Pie .

"Got anything that will expire before I do?"