Paying For College Gifts

'My net worth? Do you mean after taxes? Or after I pay for your education?'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Trust

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."