Paying College Tuition Gifts

"Dad's doing that thing again!"

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"My homework ate my dog."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Trust

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Student Debt

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'