Pay Raise Negotiation Pillows

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"Is this about your raise?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise, if you work hard. I knew there'd be a catch.'

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

"Mom, I got the raise. They moved me to the second floor."

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

'A raise? Listen, Pomeroy -- you know how I feel about clumsy attempts to fine-tune the economy!'

"I knew there would be a catch."

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'Have you seen these figures?' - 'I refuse to answer, on the grounds it may effect my next pay rise.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

'I did get a raise. Could that be it?'

'How about a small rise?' - 'No, but how about a large reference?.'

"That's how my boss looks when I ask for a raise."