Pay Raise Negotiator Pillows

"That's how my boss looks when I ask for a raise."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"Mom, I got the raise. They moved me to the second floor."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'Look, O'Brien, you can't just waltz in here like that and demand a raise.'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

Management buy-out.

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'I can't give you a raise... but I can rent you a cubicle.'

"Tell the staff that I wanted to increase their salary, but that box of donuts I purchased for the break room hurt us financially."

"If I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!"

'You say you want to speak to me about a raise?'