Pay Packet Ponderer Pillows

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'I just can't believe the amount of packaging there is these days.'

"I keep my savings under my mattress. It's the only way I'll ever be able to retire on my money."

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'