Pay Equity Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't mind working for a woman. I do, however, hate being paid like one.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"You don't see much in the way of rioting and looting when an unarmed white man is killed by the police."

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'What do you mean, you want a coffee break?!'

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

Got Rationality?

'Miss Henshaw - bring me my trumpet.'

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

"Don't tell me we've got to stay even longer in this godforsaken dump!"

"I think he's been capitalised!"

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

"This data shows us that we are going up to a new level."

And this is my dance of the third quarters profit ratio.

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

Making Money.

Delighted worker being propelled through the air on the back of the scale coming right off the chart

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

"I want a bigger slice."

'Income inequality...! You wanna talk about income inequality...?!'

What do you MEAN money isn't everything? We are a bank!

"Beneath this calm exterior, I'm obsessed with making profits."

"Sure, revenues are up 25% since we switched from blackmailing the West, to crowdfunding, but where's the pizazz?"

"So this 'customer care' idea seems to be working."

'Here are today's numbers: I earn $1369 per day, an increase of $548 per day over my previous job...'