Pawn Shop Worker Gifts

Liberal Arts Diploma.

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own..."

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

Prawn Shop

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

Sadly, there are those who take advantage of bunnies down on their financial luck.

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

Gift-wrapped pet

'You won't last ten minutes out there.'

"Well, I would consider offering you more for it if it were right, say, three times a day."

'Get my broker on the phone, please, stock not pawn?'

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

'Oh no you don't!'

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

Mega Brokers - StockPawn.

"These are the care instructions. And if things don't work out, there's a recipe on the back."

'If you have trouble with cold feet in bed, you will find this dog is equivalent to two blankets.'

'I've got over thirty football cups and medals.'

'The management of this shop take the threat of swine flu in their stride.'

"They claim they're being used as pawns and are filing a lawsuit."

'It never fails - Every Social Security day, he comes in to pawn his crown.'

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working!'

'This one belonged to a little old lady with weak eyes.'

'No Daddy. I didn't say that my new boyfriend was a porn dealer. I said he was a pawn broker '