Pawn Shop Worker Gifts

Liberal Arts Diploma.

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own..."

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

Prawn Shop

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

Sadly, there are those who take advantage of bunnies down on their financial luck.

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

'You won't last ten minutes out there.'

Gift-wrapped pet

'Oh no you don't!'

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

"Well, I would consider offering you more for it if it were right, say, three times a day."

'Get my broker on the phone, please, stock not pawn?'

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'I've got over thirty football cups and medals.'

Mega Brokers - StockPawn.

'If you have trouble with cold feet in bed, you will find this dog is equivalent to two blankets.'

'The management of this shop take the threat of swine flu in their stride.'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don't work out, there's a recipe on the back."

"They claim they're being used as pawns and are filing a lawsuit."

'It never fails - Every Social Security day, he comes in to pawn his crown.'

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

"I don't care if the hampsters do enjoy it.."

'No you may NOT see a menu.'

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working!'