Pawdience Pleaser Gifts

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak.'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Baroque Peacock

Taking a peek at the audience

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Espresso Martini Peacock

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Prosecco Peacock

"That's an everblue."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Giuseppe Verdi

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Living with a cataholic.

Snail crossing

"There's a tell."

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Fairy God Mothers Anonymous - "I've just been too much of a people pleaser."

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

'Doc, I can't shake the feeling that someone's watching me.'

"They ruin the landscape!"

Cocktails and Peacocks

Benchmark

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Ancient Egyptian Doctors

Everytime I fan my tail feathers, I throw out my back.

'Why are they all staring at me?'

'Tut, you've outdone yourself this time.'

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."