Parent Pleaser Gifts

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

"I wouldn’t worry about it, Chris. Father thinks all my dates are ‘Marxist moles.’"

'So you're a billionaire... Now what?' 'Have you learned to clean your room yet?'

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'The kids were so sweet...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."