Parent Admirers Gifts

'I wanna be a milkman like my dad when I grow up!'

'The child is very illogical'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"...My daughter, the model..."

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"I'm trying to make them look less scary."

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Here are all of my dependents."

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

"Isn't that adorable?"

'He's about to destroy his first city and you're in a meeting?'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'For a brief time I held the world record for the youngest person on earth.'

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

'So you're a billionaire... Now what?' 'Have you learned to clean your room yet?'

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

Next On The Agenda

"Congratulations! It's a doctor!"

Whatever you do, don't ask him about his children… God's wallet.

"Any chance I could put myself up for adoption?"