Pawdience Pleaser T-Shirts

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak.'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Baroque Peacock

Taking a peek at the audience

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Espresso Martini Peacock

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Prosecco Peacock

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

Giuseppe Verdi

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Living with a cataholic.

Snail crossing

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"There's a tell."

Fairy God Mothers Anonymous - "I've just been too much of a people pleaser."

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

Cocktails and Peacocks

"They ruin the landscape!"

Benchmark

Ancient Egyptian Doctors

'Why are they all staring at me?'

Everytime I fan my tail feathers, I throw out my back.

'Tut, you've outdone yourself this time.'

"That's a plumage don't."

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'