Patron Saint Of Pecuniary Pursuits Pillows

"This is the patron saint of my profession."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

"…Ommmmmmmmmmmmmoooooney, heh, heh, …ommmm…"

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

"You must be here for my seminar, 'The Cathedral of Profit'."

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

St David's Day

'I'm here to test the magic 8-ball.'

'We put the little old lady of Threadneedle Street into a care home.'

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"Edgar, don't you think it's time you donated a wing somewhere?"

'I'm thinking of starting a religion. What would be a reasonable initial investment?'

Sunday sermon: 'Dearly beloved, restore our faith in the almighty dollar.'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

'In my years of meditation, I've concluded that being a prophet without profit is not the path to nirvana.'

'Thank God it's Monday.'

"Relax, Eddie. Our research division says the fundamentals look good."

Moses with Ten Commandments: 'But will these be good for the economy?'

"God spoke to me in a dream and it really changed my life. He told me to diversify my portfolio."

'I'd like to achieve a higher level of consciousness when it comes to picking winning stocks.'

Dollar Stamp

Pound sign in a stained glass window of a church.