Patron Of Expressionism T-Shirts

"Sotheby's extends its deepest sympathies and wonders whether the deceased might have owned any early German Expressionist pieces."

Paul Klee

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"Feel better, dear?"

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

Mime father in the delivery room.

A great new year (for cartoonists).

'You're no Pollock.'

Who are you?

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

"Practicing my hate-face."

"Can you just once get to the damn point without the usual embellishments?"

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

Quiet Quitting

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

"I can't for the life of me think of a caption for it. I guess I'll just leave it as it is."

"Get that de Kooning sneer off your face. This is Turner!"

Clowns in and out tray 'Grin and Pout'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

'Say when.'

Optimism, Pessimist, Surrealist

"You already showed me a picture of your de Kooning."

"Of course, art is one thing, dear - life is another."

"Near as I can figure, your painting style is Depressionist."

"I got the idea when I accidentally dropped a tin of paint on a canvas, and some idiot offered me £5,000 for it!"

Man chooses head from cupboard.

'Man, I wish I could paint like that.'

'I'm amazed at how you can express your feelings so succinctly with just a few bold brush strokes.' 'Go Away!'