Patron Of Expressionism T-Shirts

"Sotheby's extends its deepest sympathies and wonders whether the deceased might have owned any early German Expressionist pieces."

Paul Klee

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"Feel better, dear?"

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

Mime father in the delivery room.

'You're no Pollock.'

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

A great new year (for cartoonists).

Who are you?

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

Quiet Quitting

"Practicing my hate-face."

"Can you just once get to the damn point without the usual embellishments?"

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

"I can't for the life of me think of a caption for it. I guess I'll just leave it as it is."

Clowns in and out tray 'Grin and Pout'

"Get that de Kooning sneer off your face. This is Turner!"

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

'Say when.'

"Of course, art is one thing, dear - life is another."

Optimism, Pessimist, Surrealist

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"I got the idea when I accidentally dropped a tin of paint on a canvas, and some idiot offered me £5,000 for it!"

"You already showed me a picture of your de Kooning."

"Near as I can figure, your painting style is Depressionist."

Look, you know what models get paid. Don't act all freaked out by your check!

Man chooses head from cupboard.

'Man, I wish I could paint like that.'

'I'm amazed at how you can express your feelings so succinctly with just a few bold brush strokes.' 'Go Away!'