Patriot Humorist Pillows

"Hey, I love liberty as much as the next guy, but I'm still going to be out of town of the Fourth."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

UK/US Free Trade Deal

No-Work Orange

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

Uncle Donnie

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Beware of Don"

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

John F. Kennedy

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

Pirates at the mall.

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

2020 Republican Party National Convention

'I don't know -- maybe an evil robot from the future IS the kind of President we need.'

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."